What Do You Do If You Find A Wallet?
Well if you’re the punk malcontent who found my wallet yesterday, you go on a shopping spree…at Rite Aid, Vons, and Ralphs (a convenience store and two grocery stores).
Really, if you’re going to try and spend my hard-earned credit, at least go buy something decent like a stereo system. There’s a Best Buy just down the street that isn’t much further away than the local Vons.
I mean who spends $103 at a Rite-Aid?! Who!? I really mean it. Who? I’d like to know because I want my wallet back. And to the store clerks there, doesn’t it even slightly ring the suspicion bell in your head when someone tries to buy $103 worth of anything at Rite-Aid? I didn’t even know you could buy that much stuff at a Rite-Aid. I figured buying out everything in the store would lighten your wallet by about $70, tops. Maybe he bought the cash register too.
Did you even look at the guy and compare his picture to the Id, my Id, he presented? There’s not a lot of hapas running around L.A. so I doubt he looked that much like me, assuming it was a “he”.
Anyways, yesterday on a short walk, I dropped my wallet. A really comical mistake like you see in the cartoons. I put my wallet in my side cargo-short pocket, which unbeknownst to me, had a huge gaping hole in it. I returned back to the area literally 10 to 15 minutes later, and it was gone. And then the charges started showing up in my account as I frantically called to close my cards.
Anyways, that’s why I rushed out a new release of Subtext last night. I figure follow something bad with something good. Oh, and I bought a lottery ticket. I know, the chances are pretty much nill. But what were the chances I’d put a wallet in a pocket with no bottom? This is a chance for the world to get back to even terms with me.