Swinging With The Big Boys

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Gorilla Swinging Jayson emailed me to let me know that my PageRank is now

  1. That puts me up in the ranks of the big guys like Scott Hanselman. Woohoo!

You realize what this means dontcha? After all this time and hard work, I moved from a 5 to a 6 on a 10 pt scale. It means I am no longer flunking the blogosphere. I am getting a D baby! Woohoo! I can’t wait for my next highschool reunion so I can shove this back in the face of all the popular kids.

  1. Me

    You thought I was a loser, eh? Well check this out! My PageRank is 6! What’s yours? Who’s the loser now? What!? What!? That’s what I thought!

  2. Popular Kids

    Ummm, who are you again? I don’t think you went to this school.

  3. Me

    Oh. Umm. Right. My next reunion isn’t for another year but I couldn’t wait.

It is great to have another scale of measurement in order to bolster a false sense of superiority and privilege over other people.

  1. Me

    Oh, lookie lookie here. Mr. Atwood’s PageRank is only five. Poor guy. How does he live with himself? Maybe I’ll start a raise Atwood’s PageRank campaign.

Don’t worry, I won’t let it change this blog or myself one bit. Except for the minor detail that in order to contact me, my contact form now sends an email to my publicist. And if you don’t mind, please refer to me as the blogger formerly known as Haacked.

Yes, for you humor (or English) impaired, this is satire. I am really not that infatuated with PageRank. No really.

UPDATE: Ummm so this is kind of awkward, but Mr. Atwood points out in my comments that his PageRank™ is actually a 6 if you put the www. in front of his URL. I am afraid I must end the Raise Atwood’s PageRank™ campaign. Sorry about that Jeff. Heh Heh. No hard feelings, eh?

And I am actually sincerely glad to have a higher PageRank™. So I did not mean this to punk Jayson in any way shape or form. The higher the PageRank™ the more AdSense Revenue people I can reach with interesting technical content.

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Comments

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10 responses

  1. Avatar for Jeff Atwood
    Jeff Atwood April 6th, 2006

    If you put the www. in front, my Pagerank is 6, and has been for a year or so.
    It's a logarithmic scale, so we can plan to be at 6 pretty much indefinitely..

  2. Avatar for jayson knight
    jayson knight April 6th, 2006

    Heh, thanks for punking me in public ;-).

  3. Avatar for Haacked
    Haacked April 6th, 2006

    Oh. Great Jeff. You totally ruined my joke. Thanks.
    Jayson, dude. My post was not intended to punk you. It was punking myself. I hope it did not come across that way.
    If so did you notice my XFN relationship? Does that make it all better?

  4. Avatar for jayson knight
    jayson knight April 6th, 2006

    Well, I cried for a bit...but yeah it's all better.
    Note the winky after my comment btw :-D
    I'M OBSESSED W/ PAGERANK...stupid google toolbar! Seriously, a 6 for a blog ain't bad.

  5. Avatar for wife
    wife April 6th, 2006

    sweet. does this mean i can quit my day job?

  6. Avatar for wife
    wife April 6th, 2006

    shit!
    oh shoot!
    i forgot to use the html you tought me last night

  7. Avatar for Jeff Atwood
    Jeff Atwood April 7th, 2006

    Thanks to Mr. "I will construct a hyperlink to Jeff's blog with no leading www." Haack, I had to implement a rewrite rule that fixes this. Just try clicking on that link now. JUST TRY!
    Linking variations of your domain name (eg, vitamins.megamart.com, pheremonesmegamart.com) to the same content is actually very harmful to your pagerank.
    I'M TELLIN ALLA YALL ITS SABOTAGE!

  8. Avatar for Haacked
    Haacked April 7th, 2006

    Well Mr. "I Like Extraneous Useless prefixes such as www." Atwood, how will your rewrite rule help your page rank? Even if it's rewritten, when Google indexes my site, it's going to see the original domain name.
    But I will change it.

  9. Avatar for Jeff Atwood
    Jeff Atwood April 7th, 2006

    Extraneous?
    Useless?!?
    WORLD WIDE WEB BABY! DUBYA DUBYA DUBYA!
    Pff. You poseurs and your prefixless URLs. I type dubdubdubperiod every time.. and I like it!
    I noticed that www.haacked.com works too, by the way.

  10. Avatar for Haacked
    Haacked April 7th, 2006

    Yeah, and notice that www.haacked.com ALSO has a PageRank of 6. If only they could join forces and combine for a PageRank of 12!
    I think I sunk your battleship.