Top 12 Things A Klingon Programmer Would Say
- Specifications are for the weak and timid!
- This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I
am to do battle with this code!
- You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you’ve read it in the
- Indentation?! – I will show you how to indent when I indent your
- What is this talk of ‘release’? Klingons do not make software
‘releases’. Our software ‘escapes’ leaving a bloody trail of
designers and quality assurance people in its wake.
- Klingon function calls do not have ‘parameters’ – they have
‘arguments’ – and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.
- Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the
- I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth
contest. They will not concern us again.
- A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!
- By filing this SPR you have challenged the honor of my family.
Prepare to die!
- You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you
- Our users will know fear and cower before our software. Ship it!
Ship it, and let them flee like the dogs they are!