It’s an odd quirk of
our taste for “round” numbers that we tend to celebrate milestones that
are multiples of a power of ten. For example, a 10th anniversary is
somehow more significant than a 6th anniversary. Likewise, a 100th post
is more significant than a 73rd post.
reaches a different sort of milestone, it is my 666th post. Yes, this
post bears with it the mark of the beast. I dedicate this post to pure
Not having a
reputation evil, my first step is to gauge my current evil quotient via
the “How evil are you?”
website. Unfortunately I rated quite good on the Evil-o-meter. There was
certainly work to do.
So chomped down on my Cuban cigar, fired up Internet Explorer
(evil-o-meter rising) and navigated to the evil overload
Powerpoint (+2 on
the evil-o-meter) I copied the list verbatim (DMCA anyone?) and started
committing them to memory.
After getting a bit bored, I spent a little time doing some stem cell
research and even tried my hand at human cloning. I thought about having
an abortion, but as I am male, had a tough time getting pregnant. So I
changed tactics and bought an H2 and drove it into a nature preserve
while smoking an illegal substance and drinking a forty.
At this point, I realized that to really get the evil-o-meter soaring, I
should SPAM people. Not only should I create SPAM, I should write a web
service to do so. I wrote one that returned an ADO.NET
of email addresses and websites with comments enabled so that others
could join in the SPAMination. Soon all the world would know about all
the latest Texas Hold-Em websites.
Oh, did I mention that application is written with only one line of
code? And there are no comments. And I used HTML Tables and NO CSS. It’s
covered in Hungarian Notation. And I have promoted it as an example of
“SOA”. And the application connects to the (non-normalized) database
using the SA account without a password. I used inline sql without using
parameterized queries. Yes, Satan himself is starting to get worried
here. But then again, I personally didn’t write this code, I off-shored
it to a sweatshop in China that employs overworked six year olds to hack
out the code.
After all this hard
work, I relaxed to a game of Dungeons & Dragons while watching a little
sesame street to absorb the evil that is
Bert. This led to an internal
debate about which character is more evil, Barney or Bert?
this mathematical proof of Barney’s
evil and this essay, “Why
is Barney Considered Evil”, I
concluded that indeed, Barney is more evil.
I considered creating a Marketing website without an RSS
feed, but not
even I was ready to go that far.
After all that, I went back to retake the evil survey. It turns out that
I may have done a bit too much research as the site declared that I
wasn’t evil but clinically insane. Not bad for a day’s work. I wonder
what post should I dedicate to insanity?
[Listening to: Thriller - Michael Jackson - HIStory, Past, Present And
Future, Book 1 (Compilation) (Disc 1) (5:57)]